Question the Answers

I'm not sure why, but this seemed like a fitting title for this post. Am I questioning the answers? Do I even HAVE answers? Right now all I know is that he's still with me, and I'm still completely in love with him. I'm definitely still questioning things though. I know that without a doubt. Questioning his intentions, whether conscious or otherwise. I still feel like I'm an easy out for him. I solved his roommate problem by giving him a place to live. I solved his loneliness problem by giving him a new friend. I solved his feelings of despair and worthlessness by loving him as deeply as I do. If he has a problem that I can help with, I do everything in my power to fix it. I do it because I love him. I do it because I want him to know that someone cares and has his back. I do it because I'd want him to do the same for me.

I have moments. Moments when he'll hold me close and tell me he loves me and I actually believe him. Moments where I wonder if all my questioning is pointless. Then he'll do something like he did today and it unravels everything. He got told he could start his work shift four hours later than his scheduled start time because they were slow. He commented on how that meant he could spend more time with me. About one-quarter of his extra time, if that, was spent with me at Target. The rest was spent on my computer playing Diablo III, while I laid in bed and played games on my phone until I got so bored and disappointed that I just said fuck it and took a nap. When he said he was happy that he'd get to spend more time with me, I thought he wanted to actually spend time WITH me, not just in the same room as me while we essentially ignored each other. Then I start with the questioning...

Am I wrong? I can't help but be worried that I'm still as giddy as we were the day we met but he seems completely lackluster about me and our relationship. Sex isn't the same, we've basically resorted to one position, and it's happening with much less frequency. He doesn't look at me the same or talk to me the same. He doesn't talk about how happy he is or how lucky he is to have me anymore. We're essentially friends with benefits, which is ironic because that's what I was looking for when we met. I hadn't intended on falling in love. Here I am, though, and I'm doing my best to make it great. I just wish I could say the same for him.

Maybe I'm reading him wrong. Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe I'm scared. Maybe I'm self-destructing. I don't know. I wish I could afford a therapist to help me sort through these feelings. I need a professional.
I'm still debating on whether or not to talk to him about this. I still can't think of what good it could possibly do other than maybe make me feel better. From a relationship standpoint, I'm worried it would do more harm than good. I don't want to tarnish our connection. We get along so well... I love him.